Depth.

Am I shallow?

Do I lack depth?

Do I not think things through?

I would seriously love to know the answers to these questions. Yes, I'm whining about something, but on a personal level, I believe it's something worth whining about: I've read other people's blogs and online journals and they contain more depth than mine. I don't know whether this is because certain people put so much more effort into their posts than I do, but they consistantly have more meaning than mine.

I don't really mind this...except that I do. One of my biggest vanities is that I consider myself an intelligent and thoughtful person, especially given my age. I like to modestly toot my own horn and yes, I do often think I'm better than others (even though I do so guiltily...). I guess my question is -- is this a bad thing? It probably isn't a good thing, that's for sure...but I don't know *how* bad it is. Does this tooting of my own horn mean I'm shallow? Or a snob?

I want to be calm and collected, contemplative and insightful, knowledgable on both important and obscure matters, able to find meaning in the meaningful. For example, I just finished reading the Jane Austen Book Club, by Karen Joy Fowler, in which the characters discuss Austen's novels. A lovely book, except most of what they discussed about the book were things I'd never thought of before... In high school I has to really analyze what I was reading, but that was mostly inside of the classroom. I've never really analyzed things I've read for fun and I feel genuinely apprehensive about starting just because there's no one there to hold my hand and tell me that I'm right or wrong.

That being said, I still want to analyze and be "smart" about what I read...and just in general, too. I seen people referencing the Bible and I know that that's something I've never done and probably never will. And it makes me jealous. Just that someone is able to do that -- to stay so on track and be able to look up some insanely obscure quote in this huge book and then come back and add it to their little journal entry and keep their entry sooo on topic and cohesive.

It makes me so jealous.

"Kinsey"

On Thursday evening, I finally saw the film "Kinsey" with several friends. I knew from the trailers that I would find the film interesting, but I didn't expect to like it as much as I did. Although I'm curious to know just how much of the movie's portrayal of Alfred Kinsey was accurate... I do, however, plan to read both of Kinsey's books at some point (Although there are a LOT of things I want to read -- a 30-page Word document of things...).

I'm quite glad that I decided to see this film with friends instead of parents; it's not that it would have been horrible with parents, but... well, after the film had finished and the credits showing animal mating habits had ended and my friends and I were exiting the theatre, I was able to envision exactly what things would have been like if I had been with parents and not friends:

Dad: What did you guys think of it?

Me/Mom: It was good, I liked it.

Dad: It was interesting, but they should have covered (whatever random thing that my father thinks they should have covered)

Me/Mom: They probably would have covered that if it had been really important. Dr. Kinsey probably didn't even deal with or think about that.

Dad: Well, he should have. You can't just think about something half way through (blah blah blah).

Things would have gone on like this for a while until people were vaguely fed up with one another and slightly hostile. Not my favorite way to end a movie-viewing experience. Anyway, I really enjoyed the film (not to mention it was very informing about the attitudes of the early half of the 20th century!) and I'll probably borrow it from the library many-a-time when it comes out on DVD.

Clueless.

I really don't know what I'm doing with this...

I edited my template in order to add links to the sidebar (and I probably didn't do it correctly). There's probably a page on the main blogger site where information on making these changes is blatantly obvious, but I'm too dense to find it.

Oh well. It's 12:27am. I'm going to bed.

Damn! Foiled again...

I have something all written out in anticipation of joining blogger, but due to Interenet difficulties, I couldn't join last night. Then, lo and behold, my computer wouldn't start this morning...something about a corrupt system file.

Damn.

I tend to like writing things out befor I post them (although I often forego it) because I'm better able to sort out my thoughts...kind of like editing, I guess. I'm always envious of how organized and well thought out my friend's online entries are, but who's to say that they start out that way? (They probably have to re-read them, too!)

Hopefully, I'll be able to recover my original entry soon. Or else I'll be sad -- I wrote a lot.